Don’t Wank(o) my coffee joint

I’m addicted to the last (is it the last?) legal drug widely available. Caffeine. I must have 2 shots injected. Into my latte lah.

In school, I will go to Hotshot cafe to get my coffee fix. After school, I’d go to CBTL and get a few more shots. On weekends, I will drag Husband or family to some coffee place to get my coffee fix. On days that I don’t, I’m snappy or woozy. Sometimes both.

Husband hates coffee. I suspect he hates it because I love it so much. He doesn’t understand why and how I can go to a coffee joint and just…drink coffee. (Actually there’s always some sorta cake to go with it.)

 But now CBTL is no longer in Jurong Point. They tore it down and an ah-lian clothes store called WANKO will replace it. I know. WANKO. Trust ‘em you-know-whos to come up with ‘intelligent’ names like that for their shops. I would love to meet with the proprietor of this chain of shops, Cheng Chung Man, Johnny, and ask him: Johnny, how did you get the inspiration to name the shop WANKO? 

To which, Cheng Chung Man, Johnny, will say (with a distinct hongky accent), “Aiyahhh….this one long ago story one. I got ang moh friends ah. They alway tell me, Johnny ah, wank your johnny!” Then they laugh. I donch know why they laugh, but I just laugh. It’s veeeeeeeery funny one. So they start calling me, Wanker. I donch know why, because I tell them, no, my name not Wang, so you cannot call me Wang-ge. You must call me Man-ge. But they still call me Wanker but I think, ok lor. Quite nice the name. So, when I open this shop, to remember my friendship with them, I call my shop, Wanko. More stylo, right? Like ‘’sty-LO, j-LO, wank-O”. That why lah.”

(Methinks my caffeine level is getting dangerously low.)

Oh, by the way, you can visit here to get your supply of ‘upscale, modern’ apparel for the contemporary PRC woman.

 Anyway, I hate Wanko. When it’s open, and when I walk past it where CBTL used to be, I will give the staff and clothes there my meannest jeling. Because of the Wanko shop, I have to get my daily evening dose at MC CAFE. The coffee there is bad. I say bad because I don’t see the damn difference between their latte and their cappucino. And I have something against cafes which serve caffe latte in a cappucino cup. So sometimes I even go to delifrance because their coffee is somewhat better.

Thankfully, I have one or two packs of ground coffee from which I use in my coffee press. Black coffee it is then. Better than nothing, right? Especially these many nights I’ve been staying awake to do my ass-ignments, I need my drug.

I really hope they open starbucks or coffee club or my fave, TCC in JP. Or maybe Husband, you can buy me the Miele built-in espresso maker? It is a worthy investment, really. You I spend $5-6 a day on good coffee. That adds up to $180 a month. And I will buy the obligatory cake, so let’s say….$300 a month. The machine costs $5600 only what. So technically, in about 18-19 months, your expenditure on coffee will actually be able to cover the price of the machine. Therefore, YOU I will save a lot of money you know.

Can ah…. cheap price to pay for my sanity (and yours) right?

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