Apr
16
In my last post, I did say, it’ll probably be April by the time I get to post again. And that was in February. More than two and a half months have gone by without me writing anything. Sigh.
Nothing much has changed since the last post. Busy as hell. At one point I was waiting with bated breath for the March hols, and then SUDDENLY it was over. I remember just waking up every morning before the March hols and chanting to myself- I can do it, I can do it, X more days to hols- and then POOF! It was over. Bummer.
Since then, I have been chanting many things when I wake up in the morning. A few weeks ago it was – I can do it, I can do it, X more days to Good Friday. This week onwards, it is the same line, but ending with ‘X more days to Labour Day’.
What is wrong with me?
Just before the Very Good (but short) Friday, I had my hands full with House Mastering. What the hell is that- you ask. Well, remember, when you were in pri/ sec school, and you had this ridiculous whimsical pointless day called “Sports Day”? By some arbitrary deduction of fate, you ’belong’ to a particular House (usually identified by different colours). Do you remember, my friend?
It must have been – through a very carefully executed ‘eenie-meenie-minie-moe’ procedure, no less - that I was somehow selected as the House Master for the Falcon/red house of my school. At first I thought it was funny. Then when it sank in, it was horrifying. Me. Sports. Master. Has the world really gone topsy turvy, I thought.
In the end, no amount of squirming/ begging/ pleading/ crying/ taking students hostage could get me out of it. So I did it.
Then came the endless shopping for red stuff. Noisemakers. Balloons. Hats. Banners. Flags. Masks. Face paints. I was seeing red, literally and figuratively. As much as I initially wanted to do this with a ‘heck-care’ attitude, the bloody irritating Capricorn in me just wouldn’t let it go. I was actually trying hard to win.
Every day for two weeks, I stayed back until 6 or 7 to prepare. Cheer practices. Banner painting. Morale building. Mascot prepping. I was chanting cheers at home, and chanting cheers in class. I was crazy. A cheer practice with my whole house (a quarter of the school population) a week before the actual event saw me climbing unto a canteen table, loudhailer at mouth, screaming my lungs out, singing, and also boogeying. Yes, on a canteen table. I was stark raving mad. The kids were thoroughly amused (some traumatised that their cikgu has lost it) and they actually wanted to win this damn thing for me.
On the actual day, it was clear to see that the Reds flooded the field with red shirts, red balloons, red faces, red noisemakers. And boy were we loud. Teachers from other houses came to us and conceded defeat. I wish I had photos, but need I explain that I suffered temporary loss of sanity at the cheering competition to care about wielding a mere camera in hand? (But I know the school photography kids did take shots of me screaming my lungs out). *hope it won’t be put up on the school website. Gulp.*
However, despite the gusto, the blood, sweat and tears, all four houses can’t win, can it? The kids were devastated. They thought the whole judging was unfair, conspired, kelong, favouritism, wtf happened- they beat their chests in agony… but well… somehow we still lost, kids, despite making our presence felt, more than any other house. The teachers were perplexed- how could the Reds lose? Well it can if the judges are parent-volunteers whose kids DO NOT come from the red house, I tell them. That’s how. 
I’ve been tired, and still am. Now I am counting down the days to the next holiday, Labour Day. Then the exams will start (which mean SLEEP MODE) and then TA-DAAAAAHHH!!!!! It’s the JUNE-FREAKING-HOLIDAYS, Y’ALLL!!!!!
Now, SCREAM IT with me EVVV-RY BODEHHHHH!!!!!
I can do it, I can do it, X more days to June Holidays!
I can do it, I can do it, X more days to June Holidays! (repeat until the last bell rings)
Feb
27
Oh me, oh my- is it going to be March already?
To tell you the truth, time has been crawling past, dragging me by my hair. Funny how it should be zooming past when you’re just so busy, but for me, I keep on being stumped with “What? It’s ONLY %*&%$$%! TUESDAY????” Yes. All week. Monday lasts forever and Friday never comes.
Of course the holidays seem so close, yet so far.
I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way; I hear it and feel it all the time around me- people are simply busier this year. Must be the year of the ox. Sure hope the tiger year comes soon and bites off the bloody ox’s ass. Growl.
I used to have some time to go to the pantry and make myself a cup of coffee. Damn it- I used to have time to SURF at work! But now I have ’free’ periods, i.e free of teaching but not admin work. Sometimes I move around so fast (REALLY!) I feel like I’m a wind-up toy. Sometimes I feel like I’m fleeting around, and I can’t feel my legs! I’m stretching every darn minute of my ‘free’ time to settle unfinished business, ranging from claming invoices, calling parents/ vendors/ caterers, writing proposals, developmental forms, photocopying, marking et cetera et cetera. The worst part is that I start off every day with a to-do list, and shake my head in despair at the end of the day because NOTHING gets struck off. AND, more things actually get added to the list.
Needless to say, I am pretty much zombiefied when I get home. I sleep like I’m in a coma, but talk a lot in my sleep (and it’s always about work!). I have episodes of dreams in one night (and, SURPRISE! It’s always dreams about WORK), and I actually get confused, because in my dreams, I actually have finished that particular project/ made powerpoint slides for that lesson, but when I check the thumbdrive I can’t FIND that file. WHY didn’t I SAVE that dream in my thumbdrive ah? So much effort put in that dream. Must I start all over again then? *bangs head on wall*
So that’s why I haven’t been updating this blog, even though I just have SOOOO much to say. So many things have happened, but I have forgotten most of it. Ah well. Shit happens and will continue to happen I guess.
But there is this ONE incident that I am not able to forget yet, and I will write about it once February is over. Oh yes. That’s tomorrow, isn’t it?
Let’s see when I actually get my hands on the lappie again… maybe in April?
Jan
28
Just a week before today, I was drawing up an actual plan of how I’m gonna spend the four-day weekend so as ‘not to feel bored’.
I hoarded lots of snacks (for FEAR that no shop will be open and that we will be having a dvd-marathon days on end), brought back piles of marking, materials to set exam papers, and EVEN re-installed my sims2. I had this vision of the CNY long-weekend being a sleepy, stay-at-home retreat, where the streets are empty (save the lion dance music in that fleeting lorry once in a while), all shopping centres closed, and Singapore practically being a ghost town. Well at least for 2 days lah… quite a nice, peaceful thought, huh?
What was I thinking?
The weekend was anything but that. Bustling, as always. Before I knew it, the four days were suddenly over and there I was, on tuesday night, staring at the piles of karangans, pemahamans, bina ayats etc etc. Well only ONE stack was marked. That’s not something one can be proud of.
The snacks were left unopened, adding on to our secret stash of tidbits (secret to Ooyah who’d want ALL the snacks to be opened at once). The books and newspapers brought back left untouched. The dvds left unwatched. The sims left unplayed.
In the end, we went out on all days but half (CNY eve)- we went shopping, ikea-ing, korean bbq-ing, potluck-ing, shopping….. lots of fun alright, so much fun that it felt like a normal 2-day weekend.
And now I’m TIRED and in sooooo need another long weekend.
Please? I’ll make it last this time, promise.
Jan
23
SEMANGAT KELAS PERTAMA
Oleh Linilidia Abdul HamidBELIAU mengambil peperiksaan GCE peringkat ‘O’ sebanyak dua kali. Malahan dua percubaannya di peringkat GCE ‘A’ gagal mendapatkan sijil penuh. Tetapi kini, Cik Fauzia Jailani, 25 tahun, dapat tersenyum bangga kerana beliau merupakan satu-satunya pelajar kohortnya mendapat kelulusan Sarjana Muda Sastera (Pendidikan) dengan kepujian kelas pertama. Beliau menerima ijazahnya dalam majlis penyampaian ijazah di Auditorium Nanyang, Universiti Teknologi Nanyang, semalam, yang turut dihadiri Menteri Pendidikan, Dr Ng Eng Hen. Cik Fauzia merupakan salah seorang daripada 313 graduan baru NIE. Kejayaannya yang membanggakan itu didorong minatnya untuk mengajar yang dipupuk sejak kecil lagi. ‘Semasa kecil, bila bermain, saya selalu berangan jadi seorang guru yang sedang mengajar murid-murid,’ cerita Cik Fauzia. Disebabkan minatnya yang mendalam, beliau telah memohon memasuki NIE. Malangnya, tujuh percubaan pertamanya gagal. Namun ini tidak mematahkan semangatnya. Sebaliknya, semasa bertugas di sebuah pusat jagaan sebelum dan selepas sekolah, beliau mengirimkan permohonan buat kali kelapan untuk memasuki program diploma pendidikan NIE. Sejak diterima, Cik Fauzia, yang kini mengajar bahasa Melayu di Sekolah Rendah Balestier Hill, tidak lagi memandang ke belakang. Setelah tamat kursus diplomanya, beliau melanjutkan pelajaran ke peringkat sarjana muda. Cik Fauzia, yang mengambil pengkhususan dalam Bahasa Melayu dan Sastera Melayu untuk ijazahnya, berkata: ‘Sebenarnya, saya rasa untuk berjaya bukan usaha seorang individu saja. Sebaliknya, sokongan yang diterima daripada keluarga, teman-teman kuliah dan pensyarah juga memainkan peranan penting. Saya tidak mungkin dapat melakukannya sendiri.’ Cik Fauzia, yang baru berumah tangga, ketika bercakap tentang aspirasinya sebagai seorang guru berkata: ‘Saya ingin menjadi contoh kepada murid-murid saya. Jika saya yang pernah gagal boleh berjaya hari ini, saya mahu mereka berfikir bahawa mereka juga boleh melakukannya. ‘Sebagai guru, apa yang lebih penting bagi saya ialah murid-murid saya dapat menyumbang secara bermakna kepada masyarakat suatu hari nanti.’ Semasa berucap di majlis tersebut, Dr Ng menekankan, walaupun Kementerian Pendidikan (MOE) sedang giat menjalankan proses pengambilan guru baru dalam masa sukar ini, mereka masih mengekalkan proses pemilihan yang ketat untuk memastikan hanya calon-calon yang mempunyai sikap yang betul, minat mendalam dan kebolehan akan dipilih.
Congrats, Fauzia, to have done so so so so well against all odds (and I know there were many!) You totally deserve it, dear, perhaps more than anyone else, for ALL your hard work, slogging, patience, tears etc etc etc… wahhhh you totally deserve it lah babe. Your parents and husband must be so proud of you, and I pun tumpang semangkuk jugak ler ye! 
So proud of you!
I’m proud to tell you that I used and will be using this article this whole week for my lessons and tell my students, “This is my friend!”
Let’s meet up soon and I will belanja you makan ok?
(ada occasion, makan; takde occasion pun- makan TETAP makannn!!!!)
Jan
14
As Ooyah will always exclaim these days: “OH ME, OH MY!!!”/ “OH MANGODDDD!!!!” (oh my god)
….has it been FOURTEEN days already since 2009?
Looks like I’m done with resolutions- didn’t make any- and don’t plan to ever again. Let’s just go with life on an ad hoc basis, yeah?
And I have been missing in action for so long because the evil work bug has hit me again, and it has hit me hard. I have been going home at 6 or 7pm everyday only to finish admin work (form teacher duties, departmental programmes, coordinating the school’s conversational Chinese/Malay programme, overseas trips et cetera, et cetera…). Which means lesson planning and marking are diverted to=> home sweet home, and then reverted back to school the next day.
I think I should change my job title to ‘admin executive’, and not so much ‘teacher’. It is a misnomer, and may I please have a 9 to 5 job? Please?
With all the work piled up (already???), I’m not even in the mood to celebrate my own birthday. I don’t feel like spending on myself, or being spent on, or going for feasts… it doesn’t help either that I move from ‘the late twenties’ to ‘the early thirties’.
Yes, I turn three-o today. How depressing.
Forseeing that I would feel this way, my best friend Geet suggested that we should go out and celebrate the last ever night I’d be in my twenties. I was actually hyped up about celebrating last night. I ended up finishing my work at 6.00pm, energy zapped out, nursing a reccuring cold and megawatt migraine, plonked myself into bed and slept until 10pm. But- by God- that was the most satisfying sleep I’ve had in days! How dandy is that?
And I actually feel different. Like I’m behaving the way thirty year-olds behave. Pshaw- I don’t know how to explain it, it just feels different. Being in the twenties certainly means and feels differently from thirties, right? Now the word ‘youth’ is totally out of my league- it is not applicable in any context at all now (other than my vocation of course). I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing, it could be good… it’s just a different feel. I’m sure those of you who have ‘crossed the bridge’ know what I mean. Sigh. See? I’m blabbering nonsense and repeating myself already. Is that substantial proof of old age setting in or what?
I remember feeling this way last year, one degree less depressed because then, I was feeling sad about it being the last year in my twenties. Now the inevitable has happened.
A glimmer of hope appeared in the form of a letter from ICA today. Yes. The passport people. I told my husband- this would be the best gift EVER- maybe they decided to be lenient (it’s my birthday whaaaatttt….) and lift the ban. I excitedly read the letter and whaddya know?
It’s a notification for me to make a new IC since they figured- 16 certainly looks different from THIRTY, correct?
Bummer. Thanks ICA, for playing YET ANOTHER nasty prank on me. 
………………………………….
I was asked by the husband what I want for a present this year, and like the last, I REALLY don’t know. Sure, I did take a look at fab bags and dazzling diamonds, but I just didn’t know what I want. Just- give me a little bit more time, okay, and I’ll decide eventually.
Thank you to my dear friend Kakkin for the wonderful surprise at school today- the balloon certainly did attract some attention, and the cactus: they’ll be a reminder to me, to be resilient and formidable (so NO ONE can make me do anything against my will!) Thanks to Fauzia for the jewellery box- I will strive to fill it up and reward myself with jewels regularly! And thank you to my dearest Ibu for the beautiful natural pearl necklace,bracelet and earring set which I will never permit myself to buy- I truly treasure it and it will be an heirloom to be passed down to my daughter and her daughter and her daughter……… thank you all for the wonderful gifts. My thanks also go out to friends who actually remembered my birthday and bothered to wish me a happy birthday; I am truly touched!
So maybe I will feel a lot better about being thirty tomorrow. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Oh yes. More admin work I’m sure.
Dec
28
Yeah, back in SIN. Literally and metaphorically, since being in the heavenly isle of Phuket makes going back to mundane SINgapore seem like a sinful thing to do.
Oh well. Life has to go on and bonds can’t be broken.
We had a helluva time in Phuket- perhaps it gets better everytime. We spent a day longer there this time, and I’m quite sure the next time I’m there, there’ll be no more sightseeing (I think I’ve seen all their worthy attractions, minus Phuket Fantasea).
Having stayed in an exclusive villa this time round makes it even memorable. We lapped up the luxury of having a private pool to ourselves, a whole 4-bedroom villa (and all rooms were detached from the main living room, accentuating the resort-feel), had breakfast served by our pool by butlers every morning, enjoyed full spa services (masseuses, manicurists and beauticians came and provided poolside therapies at the sala )- basically, we lived like kings. Even if it only lasted a few days…
Atok and Ooyah dudok rilek-keplekk kat rumput tepi pool. Buatlah macam rumah sendiri ye...
Berfeeling kerabat diraja Thailand dengan dayang-dayang di sisi, menantikan perintah.
It was my special demand request, actually, that no expense is spared for this holiday since it HAS been a VERY LONG TIME since I went overseas, and perhaps it will be quite some time before I have another getaway. So splurging was the only way to go, baybehh- just grit your teeth and think of it as three vacations rolled into one. Because I’m worth it. Or more like, let’s make the $75 temporary passport worth it’s cost, wokay?
We basically stayed in the villa, spending our days, and nights, soaking up the sun (and also chlorinated water in the pool!), basking happily like seals without a care in the world. We blasted our music, pretended to be a team of synchronized swimmers, dared one another to go to the deepest end of the pool- well, we could even skinny dip (would it still be called skinny dip if I were to do it?) if we wanted to! But OF COURSE we didn’t lah, since our dad and my husband are around too- crazy or what?
The opening act. And my arm IS NOT that flabby- it's actually an optical illusion as a result of refraction from the water. Really.
The complete team. The star swimmer in this troupe had to put on her specs as she lost her contact lenses after going underwater without goggles... and THAT mistake cost her team the gold medal. Tsk.
It’s definitely sad as hell, our last night there… entertaining thoughts of just leaving everything behind here in Singapore (err… what is here ah, by the way?), selling our flat off to buy a nice piece of land and a villa like that in Phuket… perhaps we could open a nasi padang restaurant there- heck- a stall will do as well. We could cure the hunger pangs of weary Malay travellers from Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia, craving for authentic Malay food…. I could teach there, couldn’t I? My sister could open up a preschool empire there, Ramli can… er… do what he does best there too… Ooyah could look like one of the Thai kids and polish her ‘khop khun kaa’ greeting…
Sigh. If only it is as easy as it sounds…
So as we boarded the plane we left those dreams behind, like the bottles of mineral water that we couldn’t bring onto the plane… tossed in the dustbin labelled ‘wet items’. Yeah. If you think about it, it does get quite close to becoming a wet dream, those thoughts.
Oh Phuket, and all you beautiful Thai people, not to forget, the delicious food you cook- we will be back. And perhaps next time round, without luggage bags but with a container full of our worldly possessions……
Dec
18
I made YET ANOTHER trip to the ICA on Tuesday to collect my TEMPORARY travel document. I came well-prepared this time: two books, a fully charged PSP, a book of sudoku puzzles, full stomach, empty bladder (well, not for long after having a full stomach). I was mentally prepared for a very long wait, but was also hoping that it would not exceed the previous waiting time of FOUR hours.
One thing I learnt from this particular visit: it doesn’t pay to come early. My mom advises me (not that I heed that advice) that I should come at opening time to get a good number, but apparently EVERYBODY ELSE has the same idea, you know? The last time I came here, I arrived at 10am. I left the building at 2pm.
This time round, I decided to come nearer to the closing time. Heh. I came at about 3pm. Well they can’t make me wait till 7pm, can they? The officers have GOT to go home and fix dinner for their kids, correct? So who’s the smartypants now, huh?
And whaddya know? I got my temporary passport in just over and hour lah! How wonderful was that? And the officer who served me was real nice and was at least emphatic about my plight. How sweet. No ‘tsk tsk’s or disapproving frowns from this one.
So it’s set- I AM going away to this holiday. Having less than a week to book return flights and hotel rooms, we weren’t left with much of a choice. The initial plan of going to Bali, Sabah, or Langkawi was foiled due to unavailable flight tickets or hotel…. ah well. There’s always Chinese New Year and the June hols (by which time I HOPE to be granted a passport since the ban is technically over in April.
Oh me, oh my! (Ooyah’s favourite phrase these days) Is that only FOUR months away?
Dec
11
As some of you may have heard, I went to ICA on Tuesday after receiving a letter from ‘em. Apparently, in that letter, I would be interviewed by one of their officers who would then decide if I could be granted possession of a passport. That certainly raised my hopes up. To tell you the truth, I was pretty sure I would get it. Real confident. The interview was just a formality, I thought.
So I went to school first to start off band practice at 8, and at 9 plus, I sneaked off to Lavender. Now, I’ve been to ICA A LOT OF TIMES, and I have NEVER seen so many people there before. There were no seats in the collection area… darn holidays! Everybody seems to be there to renew/ extend/ create passports all of a sudden.
I went to the info counter to get a queue no. and after seeing my letter, the officer gave me 2 numbers. “One for the interview, and the other one for application”. Now you tell me- wasn’t that a sure sign that I am DEFINITELY getting the passport? Huh? Huh?
No. of people in the queue: Whoa. 66. Somehow the number being called was nearly 200 away from mine. How’d they do the math?
The time printed on that slip: 10.01am. Sure. I could queue all day if you want honey- I came well-armed with a WHOLE BOOK of sudoku puzzles and my PSP- just as long as I get the passport…
——–
3 hours passed.
I was cursing and spewing vulgarities under my breath. My PSP battery had gone flat, I finished half of my sudoku puzzles, which resulted in a splitting headache; I was starving, not having eaten anything since morning and I needed to pee – but didn’t dare to leave my seat for fear of my number being called. (They DID say the number may not be called in order, right?) One by one the counters started to close for lunch. More vulgarities (e.g ‘Mak dia punya dot dot dot!!!!’) as the word “COUNTER CLOSED” flashed. The newborn babies (and there were MANY) were pissing me off. Too much noise. I wish I could express my irritation just like them. UWEKKKKKK!! UWEKKKKKK!!!!!
FINALLY… my number appeared. I wiped my sweat and tears and sprinted to the counter.
Okay not really. Gotcha there, didn’t I?
I quickly changed my ‘PISSED’ face to the ‘PLEASE…’ face. I don’t want to be pissing off that officer at the counter.
She definitely wasn’t the officer I was supposed to meet, but it could be a good thing, I thought. Well in retrospect now, perhaps it is a bad thing afterall. I showed her my letter from THE MP which, funnily enough, gave me a false sense of power and confidence. Heh. Action like real only. She checked my details, I briefed her about the situation (minus the part about how I lost the damn thing three times, not that she asked) and she said she had to consult her superior first.
Dalam hati- alamak ni yang tak sedap ni…. Toksah tanya ler kak… iyerkan aje, kata omputeh ‘take initiative’ lah gitu. Kalau nak kena tanya-tanya dulu, camne Melayu nak maju, kak?
Sigh. Looks like the ESP technique tak menjadi.
I waited at the seat for about 10 minutes, wondering where the hell she’d gone too, and praying, wishing and hoping that the boss gave her a big nod.
She came back again. Then she said I can apply for the one-time travel document which will cost me $75…
and I said, “Sorry- WHAT?”
I guess it was her way of breaking it to me gently and subtly that her damn superior (ASS!) said NO. I have to complete my 1 year ban, no matter what.
Okayyyy… so it’s not three years, that’s the good news. Well it could be BETTER news, couldn’t it? I returned one of the reported lost passports to the ICA, hoping that that they could shorten the ban duration. Fine- so, from three years, I’m down to one. So should I be thankful?
But doesn’t the letter from the MP do ANYTHING? Like- discount a few more MONTHS at least?
No, the helpless officer said. Perhaps she muttered under her breath, You think I SCARED ijjit, with your MP’s letter and all? You could get a letter from LKY for all I care, but we are so punishing you still with a ban, missy, just so you know how powerful we ICA officers are. Muahahahhaha. You may be powerful in school because you get to whoop my son’s ass (metaphorically speaking of course), but WHO’S the ass-whooper now (literally speaking, of course)? Huh?!! HUH??!!!!
I felt like bursting into tears there and then. Really. I had to hold back my tears, and not bloody go hysterical at the counter. I got desperate and pleaded with her. Please, kak, I really NEED this passport- I’m a teacher (“SO????”) and I need to bring my students to overseas trips next year… (“SOOOO????? Is that information useful to me?”)
No, said the smiling officer. Probably getting a kick out of this, eh, kak?
Then I got angry. Should I get violent here? Because if I could, I would have said (and banged the counter):
I queued for NEARLY FOUR HOURS, doesn’t that count for something???!!! Actually SIX hours, if you count in the wait I painfully endured trying to speak to the MP! I had to sneak out of school, damn it, and this is all you have for me? Telling me, oh, you can travel, but it will cost you an exorbitant price of SEVENTY-FIVE dollars for ONE trip and we can only issue you the document in a week’s time? DAMN YOUUUUUU!
*all this I would have said in my ‘exorcist’ growl*
With my head down, I walked away from the freaking counter, then proceeded to another one (*bangs head on wall*) to apply for the ‘temporary travel document’. Screw you all. You ain’t stopping me from going on holiday, no siree…. 75 bucks it is, just so your blardy boss can dry clean his only suit for his next ‘escaped high-profile convict’ press release!
I left the cursed building at 2pm. Four good hours of my life, wasted in this hellhole. And looks like I will going there again on Saturday, and at least 5 times more until next April, braving the crowd (who are also there with their WHOLE FAMILY for WHATTT????? For petty things like ‘change picture’ or ‘renew passport’ yadaa yadaa yadaa…)
It’s times like these that I wish our government officers are a teeny-weeeeeeeeny corrupt.
DAMN IT, SG, for being squeaky clean!!!!
Nov
25
It’s really been quite a hectic weekend, and it all started since my school’s staff retreat on Wed last week. It sure hasn’t been all fun and games, in fact, the name ‘retreat’ is a misnomer- it was anything but that. Plans for the coming year (wtf, let’s just let this one end nicely, can?) and buzz word for the 2 days was basically ‘NEXT YEAR’. Groan.
The retreat ended with the annual D&D though, and I realized that quite a lot of people did not attend it, considering there were only 2 out of 7 from the ML Dept who were there. Hmm… I didn’t know there was a choice. But it was fun anyway, actually dressing up, seeing so many pirates and bandits around.
And whaddya know- I actually emerged victor for the Best Dressed Female Pirate award. I KNOW- it’s crazy since I didn’t even dress as well as so many others (who rented outfits and all!) so I don’t think it was the dress part that made me win, because trust me, the other ‘contenders’ were dressed much better and more elaborate than what I had on. They made us do a catwalk and dance to the song ‘It’s getting hot in here’. I was the last one to go (out of 6 ‘nominees’) and my heart was pounding so hard it almost burst. In a mad frenzy of events, I practically lost all my senses (and perhaps sense of shame) and reacted on impulse, like a landlubber in drunken stupor. The result? Hilarious, I guess, since I got the audience roaring in laughter (and some gasping). I can only recall putting my hand on my forehead in the beginning, doing the most stylish strut I can manage, stopping in the middle to do a cat’s paw scratch with a growl (???), striking a pose (ala VOGUE) and putting a finger at my lips, putting it to my side and doing a sizzle. (??!!!)
My god, I sure hope there was no video there because it must be quite… damning. I was voted the winner based on the applause by the audience, and I must have looked so hilarious I won.
Anyway, I bagged a trophy for the event, not that it is something I would proudly showcase in my living room.
Ya scurvy dog whut deserves the black spot!
